Chapter 6: FOMO: The Fun Of Missing Out
10 Insights from the Super Connected Tour: Rebalancing Digital & Analogue Life. Tool Six in the 'Super Connected Toolkit'. The Fun Of Missing Out
One of the most popular questions on the Super Connected tour was:
“What was the most important tool you used to write the album and the film?”.
As I told all the lovely beings I met at the Screenless Socials on the tour, I directed the film over six months, only using a non-smartphone (or dumbphone). That was the most powerful tool, because throughout the creative process, I had no distractions in my pocket. Not on set, and not even during editing in post-production.
Disconnecting from everything and everyone that’s outside of what you are doing, when you’re working creatively, can be hard. But my ability to loyally use my Nokia 3310 and stay mindful of the present came down to one thing.
When I got my first iPhone in 2008, I switched off all notifications. In 16 years of owning an iPhone, I never had any notifications switched on. It’s not prescriptive, but missing out some of the time really helps to enjoy not missing who or what you are actually with. It’s why I love the Light Phone. If it’s with me, I’m more present.
The disappointment we feel when we miss out on something isn’t an invitation to invent a tool that helps us never miss out. It’s an invitation to embrace the way life is a series of choices. We cannot choose everything. But we can make a strong choice about something valuable, if we accept that we will have to forego other choices.
I’ve just done this with something in my work. An opportunity arose that clashed with something else. I wanted both. But I had to choose one. The initial feeling was of loss, and it hurt a little bit. But at the same time, the security and excitement in the choice I did make, grew and found it’s central focus in my life.
‘Missing out’ is just the other side of being all in.
Musician and Filmmaker Tim Arnold has researched screen addiction and social media’s effects on mental health since 2017, culminating in the critically acclaimed album, film and theatre show, Super Connected - Nihal Arthanayake, BBC 5 LIVE
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